Transforming Irritations into Understanding at Work

You know the feeling when you open an email that starts with a blunt “No,” and it immediately shuts down any chance of a constructive conversation? That small moment can set the tone for frustration and stalled progress. If you’re a manager, you’ve likely faced this or other actions that make your workday feel and be harder. But what if these annoyances could become opportunities for growth and better teamwork? Every next level of your life will require a different you (Leonardo DiCaprio), and that includes how you handle the little irritations at work.

Let’s explore how changing your approach to irritations can improve your work experience and relationships, especially in the context of project management and change management.

Recognize Your Pet Peeves and Their Impact

Everyone has pet peeves at work. Maybe it’s a colleague who misses deadlines, someone who interrupts meetings, or emails that start negatively without offering solutions. Your pet peeve might be different, but the effect is similar: it drains your energy and clouds your judgment.

Think about your last frustrating moment at work. How did it affect your mood and productivity? Now, consider the flip side: have you ever been the source of someone else’s frustration? It’s likely yes. This awareness is the first step toward change.

Understand Different Work Styles and Communication Preferences

People approach tasks and communication in various ways. Some prefer detailed instructions, others thrive with autonomy. Some communicate directly, others more diplomatically. These differences often cause misunderstandings and pet peeves.

For example, in change management, a project manager might push for rapid adoption of new processes, while team members may need more time or clearer explanations. Recognizing these differences helps you cut colleagues some slack and avoid unnecessary conflict.

Practice Curiosity to Build Stronger Teams

Curiosity or forgiveness at work doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means choosing to respond with understanding rather than frustration. When you forgive a colleague for a missed a small deadline or writing a poorly worded email, you open the door to better communication and collaboration because they feel seen and now you have their full attention.

Try this approach:

• Pause before reacting. Take a moment to consider what might be behind the behavior. A last-minute mandate from a VP; poor resources at hand; low staffing...the list can go on.

• Ask questions with curiosity. Instead of assuming the worst, seek to understand the reasons. There is always more than meets the eye.

• Offer support. Sometimes, people struggle because they lack resources or guidance.

• Share your perspective calmly. Explain how certain actions affect your work without blaming. Inquire about the plan and if they need help from you on things they likely did not realize needed to be addressed.

  
  

This mindset shift can transform your work environment and help you lead projects more effectively.

Reflective workspace promoting calm and understanding

Leverage Curiosity to Break Down Barriers

When you react with curiosity instead of irritation these are the questions you can ask yourself:

• What challenges might this person be facing hidden between the lines?

• What information or support might they need today or a month from now?

• How can I adjust my communication to gain clear understanding between us?

  
  

This approach aligns well with project management principles, where understanding stakeholder needs and adapting plans is crucial. It also supports change management by fostering empathy during transitions.

For example, if a team member resists a new tool, instead of labeling them as difficult, explore their concerns. Maybe they need more training or reassurance about the change’s benefits. Your curiosity can turn resistance into engagement.

Make Your Work Better for You and Others

Improving your workday means balancing your needs with those of your colleagues. Here are practical steps:

• Set clear expectations. Clarify roles, deadlines, and communication styles early in projects.

• Provide constructive feedback. Focus on behaviors and outcomes, not personalities.

• Celebrate small wins. Acknowledge progress to boost morale.

• Manage your reactions. Practice mindfulness or brief pauses to reduce stress.

• Encourage open dialogue. Create safe spaces for team members to share concerns.

  
  

These habits reduce friction and build trust, making interactions smoother and more effective.

Embrace Change by Becoming a Different You

To reach the next level in your career and life, you must evolve. This means changing how you respond to everyday challenges, including pet peeves. By choosing forgiveness and curiosity, you break down barriers that hold you and your team back.

Remember, everyone has bad days and imperfect managers. Your willingness to adapt and understand others’ perspectives can turn frustration into opportunity. This change in mindset is a powerful tool to bringing and keeping people on your side.